That is the wonderful abbreviation of Fibromyalgia (fy bro my al jah). And just what is FMS, well, it's so many things I don't know where to begin. The list of symptoms grows every year. As does the list of pharmaceuticals you can acquire, to combat it all. And along with that, more side effects, so more pills, and more symptoms. Oh ya, if you think it sounds like a merry go round, try living it...it's very much so. Even all of your symptoms, couple up with a few other condition, so that you are a veritable physical, emotional, mentally distressed pharmaceutical supporting zombie. Oh wait..did that sound a bit bitter? You betcha!! Just imagine that last awful flu you had, that landed you on the couch. For the sake of the wives I know..I hope it's not too many men. I know my lifetime of pain is bad, but even I wouldn't wish anyone to witness the man flu, lol.
But seriously, it is very much a cycling condition, rebounding off other conditions, and spinning off to create a new one. The one good thing, finally, is its recognition. I was officially diagnosed 25 years ago, and the old age of 22. And that was hard enough back then, when it was still in its "Am I A Real Condition Or Not phase. It was much more isolating back then, and still isolating now. I have never once held my head anything but high and proud, and say ya..I have it. That was a 10 year history of conditions, before managing to get a diagnosis. Blood Tests, X-rays, Ultra sounds, specialist, therapists (its all in your head you know), and on top of all that, there is the years of "hypochondriac"..."Is she that starved for attention" and my absolute favorite, "oh she is just lazy and doesn't want to work". Really?? Let me tell you a little something, before you draw a conclusion that will find you wondering how I filleted your behind, verbally, from afar..at my all of 5'3".
1. Hypochondriac....let me understand this...I have imagined pain and symptoms and newly acquired conditions, all in the attempt for attention..and somehow this makes the pain I really feel..worth it? Let me tell you something, on the worst days, nothing can dull the pain short of a straight Opiate or simple unconsciousness.
2. Starved for attention...okay, and this about a woman that craves wide open quiet spaces, and similar places to live...and relies more on nature, and beauty in nature, to occupy her time and hearing. A woman that loves have less and less ways to be contacted, just for the quiet, mellow, peaceful life she craves. I will admit to wanting the attention of my man, but not in the form of sympathy.
3. Lazy...doesn't want to work...um, sure dude!! Is that why I have done nothing but work from the age of 12, raising first my own brothers, and then supporting my own 2 children, and even a husband the first time around. I qualified for disability years ago. Even now, that I do qualify hands down, as clearly disabled, I still work. Having physical limitations, and some even cognitive challenges, we are no less qualified or skilled or talented enough. We just need to work around a healthy schedule that is flexible. Is that a uniqueness to the work force that should be endorsed? Other challenged minorities get as much.
On a good note, FMS, is something I have, NOT who I am. My first line of comfort on a pain filled, challenging day with my pain, I remind myself, it's not fatal, and its not even permanent. It is life long, but it can ease, or even go into remission. I was lucky to have attacked mine naturally when I was first diagnosed, so many years ago. I kept myself into remission for many years. And my "attacks" were not so long lived, or so intense. Life events, those lovely things that throw a wrench into the best made plans.
A change in lifestyle, work style, geographic location....some of the things I had done for years, that I knew worked..went by the way side. One was merely a financial choice. All the vitamins and tonics and Mother Earth First aid basket, and totally organic, raw and fresh diet...out the window..one by one, slowly. A couple of recurring injuries, self inflicted pushing my limits working out, and my lifelong enjoyment and sometimes addiction, of working out..fades to the back of my mind. I slow down, I sit down, I begin to lay down, and I start to slowly digress, and to the point of being pretty much ALL the way out of remission. But again, it doesn't kill me, so I just need to learn acceptance, try to practice my limits. Continue to work at balancing my pharmaceuticals with natural foods, and looking for natural solutions to an unnatural way of life, living with chronic pain and physical limitations.
And with that somewhat brief introduction, that is my condition, this is my story, and now you can follow my journey back to wellness, naturally, affordable and most important of all...SAFELY!! I'm going to try to study and follow the "Wise Wive's" ways, to brew my own medicine with food. I am going to try to turn my kitchen into an Apothecary, and have lotions and potions for all that ails you..naturally!! I may even work on some new found natural remedy pain relief. Think about that...something for an infant that ails them, and a natural solution to ease symptoms and aches, with no scary chemicals, with no unnerving side effects just for relief.
I'm embarking on the adventure slowly. For obvious reasons, and so that I get the full knowledge and effect, so that my report to those wanting to follow, get the best, most intelligent, well informed knowledge, on taking these healthy steps. Over time I will share some of my FMS stories and experiences that come with it. Sometimes it helps to know someone else had to "rest" in your shoes too...and got back up at some point. It offers another in the same situation, the opportunity for Hope. And really, everything aside, if we can't promote Hope, we can't believe Hope...and what will it all be for?
Please join me on my journey!! We can work together and chronicle a "Fibromyalgia for Dummies" and carry 2 versions. One for a patient with.....and the other For the doctor, with a patient with. We scare our physicians, those of us that have decades of experience with only just our condition. We are very intelligent, well informed patients. We are quite simply, a challenge. So if that is the case, as in myself it is, if we gathered just enough other stories, and others to contribute, just how helpful could we be? How thankful would those that follow be, to have a manual to their disturbing invisible non discernible condition, and an early diagnosis than 10 years..and a few lest tests? I think even the Medical Industry should give us a kick back, to save on expensive tests, that you wait 2 years to get in Canada anyway.
(Yes, any of my subjects may include a suggestion of criticism toward some agencies, in generic, and some foundations, in generic. That is for the informed reader to enjoy. It is not meant to slander Health workers of any substance. This is simply about knowledge. A few dripping sarcastic comments, are simply airing a frustration that I know the majority finds frustrating. Should make for some good anecdotes throughout my blog!! <3
